How To Grow Cannabis Sativa Download Info Here

(upbeat music)
– Hi, my name is Pete Lee.
I’m a stand up comedian, and
I’m originally from Wisconsin.
That’s why I wore
this woodsy top.
We were super poor.
My mom was a waitress
at this seafood place,
and just like when people
didn’t tip, we didn’t eat.
So for awhile, my brother
and I, we sold weed
just so we can make rent.
Yeah, I totally sold weed
to my dentist at one point,
and then I got a
discount on a retainer.
My mom was like,
why was that free?
I’m like, don’t ask, you
don’t even wanna know.
(energizing music)
Growing up poor is really
great training for a comedian
because when you first start out
and you’re going on the road
and you’re making like,
$300 to $400 a week,
most of my peers were like,
“Oh man, it’s crazy,
we’re really struggling.”
And I was like, this
is the most money
that I’ve ever had in my life.
(more upbeat music)
I always say that the best
days of anybody’s life
are the days where you
wake up nervous going,
how am I possibly
gonna make this happen?
You know, the first day
that I ever did stand-up,
I woke up going,
Ah man, I gotta go do stand-up.
This is gonna be terrifying.
And then, it actually
was awesome like,
you get that fear
of failure mixed in
with the thrill of
actually doing well
and it’s just overwhelming.
Like, there’s no drug that feels
as good as killing on stage
and especially, killing on
stage for the first time
where you have no idea what
that feeling even feels like.
It’s basically like
cocaine times a thousand.
And when I say that, I’m
not like a huge cocaine guy.
I kinda look like a
lumberjack that moisturizes.
– Everybody in the
room make some noise
for the very funny Pete Lee!
(audience cheering)
– Ah, you guys, I’m
originally from Wisconsin,
so if you’re sensing weird
vibes from me, that’s why.
(audience laughs)
I creep people out in New York.
I walk down the street
and I’m like, “Hi!”
And people are like, no.
(audience laughs)
Every New Yorker
looks at me like,
I think he was
probably home-schooled.
(audience laughs)
I’m surprisingly straight, um.
(audience laughs)
(audience claps)
I know, shocker.
I remember when I came out
to my parents as straight,
they were like, oh, okay.
(audience laughs)
We can’t wait to
meet your girlfriend.
(audience laughs)
And if we never meet
her, that’s okay too.
(audience laughs)
We’ll just nickname her Santa.
(audience laughs)
There’s this question
that men ask each other
and they always ask
like, what do women want?
And I know what women
want, I figured it out.
I’m the biggest people
pleaser on the planet.
Women want you to do things
for them or with them,
but they want you to
act like you love it.
(audience laughing lightly)
Like next time, the girl
that you love is like,
“Will you go to my all
girls brunch with me?
“It’s gonna last three
hours and thirty minutes.”
Be like, “I’d love to.”
(audience laughing)
My favorite thing is thinking
things and not saying it.
(audience laughing)
When her friend Trisha’s like,
“How am I still single?”
Be like, “I don’t know, Trisha.”
(audience laughing)
You will have sex
within the hour.
(audience laughing)
All right, you guys.
I’m Pete Lee.
Thanks for being a great crowd.
(audience clapping and cheering)
(upbeat electronic music)

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